Strategic War Plan

Eyeing that woman left of centre but lack the strategic war-plan to conquer the political love/lust battlefield? Trying to snag a fist-wielding sass is like trying to understand the divisions of the Canadian Senate--frustrating, but not impossible. Below are tips for the guys who can't decipher Lenin from Lennon but who rally passionately for the attention of the class-conscious activist woman:

1. She reads Bakunin and can map the architecture of the Khmer Rouge Party, but an activist woman is not a secret agent for terrorist cells or Rogue States. So no cracks about her so-called Molotov cocktail collection and stop looking for her supposed copy of the Anarchist Cookbook on her bookcase or underneath her bed. She is trying to save the world. Not blow it up.

2. The advantage of dating an activist woman is her total lack of interest in the technological advancement of fibrous hair gum and the latest texture of over-priced skinny jeans (no mall-talk or what you think of her hair!). This is of course, NOT an excuse to reject basic grooming and canning the pit stick. An activist woman frees animals, not date them.

3. Do not throw around political jargon if you are not familiar with the vernacular of the left. Assaulting her (or anyone) with heavy Marxist rhetoric and sermonizing your hate-on for the MAN who steals the fruits of your labour stinks of desperation and will guarantee a spot in her canon of worst dates ever.

4. She is a critical thinker and excels at dissecting societal follies but do not assume she is your willing audience for angry rants and groundless manifestoes (even if you are cozy with the vernacular of the left). She is your equal, not your disciple, so rid yourself of that Che Guevara-complex. Personality disillusionment is disturbing.

5. She may be able to wrangle the megaphone and lead a million-woman march; is quick with the come-backs and can dodge the paddy-wagon, but opening doors and sending flowers are turn-ons no boycott can live up to. Chivalry will make any woman blush, militant or not. It's all about the "are there any good men left?" thing.

*These may not actually work--in fact, you may end up crushed and defeated, but hey, all's (un)fair in love and politics.